Another adult weekend has passed, and being a Red, I didn't have to work too much. I was on main gate for a few hours to check the guests in, and then I had the night off. Saturday and Sunday was spent in the conference center training. I am now a fully qualified fencing coach. I can teach fencing anywhere in the world. It was a really fun course and something I had never done before. I can't wait until we start it here in our activities. Only seven reds are qualified to teach it, and then sports coaches can as well. The sessions are only an hour in length and are for ages 9-17, so it'll be interesting to see how much we can teach in such a short time. I only went out the Saturday night of the adult weekend and didn't stay out too late, as I had training early the next day.
We are now into another family week and its fairly busy. This past week has been a bit frustrating for me. My last two room mates moved out and the accom was an absolute mess. I spent one of my mornings cleaning it all up and organizing it the way I wanted for when Ella moved in. Ella moved in one of the nights that I was at work, with help from some of the guys. Its good to have just the two of us in here. We have started painting and moved all of her stuff over. Its starting to look really good, but not even closed to finished yet. We haven't heard of anyone else moving in just yet, but there is redcoat auditions this weekend so im sure we will have some new roomies soon.
Being here is worse than highschool sometimes in the sense of rumours and drama. I try to avoid the drama but the maturity level of the team is quite low at times. Another rumor went around about me this week, and I just didn't stand for it. I confronted the person and kicked off. I'm so sick of hearing new things about me every week that aren't even remotely true. So this past week has been me stressed out with the accom, rumours, having a cold, and to top it all off... Sunday was mothers day in Canada.
My family just bought a cottage back home, and on Sunday had everyone go there for a BBQ. Sunday in England was spent finishing my course, feeling sick, dealing with rumours, and wanting to cry. My dad phoned me so I could speak to everyone and it was really nice, but I didn't mention anything about how I was feeling as I didn't want to ruin the day for them back home. It was really difficult and I wish I could have been home for it.
A few days have gone by and I was feeling even worse mentally and physically. Finally yesterday I had a day off, and just broke down. Everyone I am close with here is going home this weekend to be with their families as its an adult break and we aren't really needed. Ella's dad came to pick her up and was wall papering her room. I spoke to him and he just reminded me of my dad. Im happy for everyone that they can go home and be with their families, but it was just too difficult yesterday for me. So I went into my room and had a break down. Ella was there for me, and so was Louis. I absolutely love being here, and my job and all the bits that come with it, but when you have a bad week, there is few people to turn to. I walked around teamlines to see if there was someone to talk to, which made me realize, there are few people here that actually care all that much. I went to Birds accom and we went and had Burger King with her boyfriend. We just talked it all out and it made me feel a bit better. Then I went and saw Gemma and she was comforting as well. Matt was working the whole night so I was left to deal with it on my own. He has been there whenever i've felt homesick even though he hasn't always known when im down.
I was never the type of person to get home sick, especially because I enjoy being here. Just having bad days here can easily get you into a lonely state of mind. I guess you don't really know what you have until its gone. I miss my family a lot and wish they could be here, but this is all part of growing up and doing what I want to do. I chose to come here and i'm glad I did. I've become closer to my family I think and i've made some amazing friends. This has been a rough week, but today is a new day, and I'm going to start fresh.
I'm sorry to hear you hit a bit of a rough patch, but happy to hear that you're being optimistic. Everyone has bad days, and it's always worse when you can't just sleep in your own bed, get some Timmies and be around the people you love. Homesickness comes and goes, as you already know. Everything will be ok and I'm proud of you for keeping your chin up. You should be so proud of yourself for moving to England whether you stay for the full two years or decide to start a new chapter somewhere else. Keep up the writing. You're good at it, and it's a great stress reliever when you want to get something off your chest.
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