This Too Shall Pass

Everything in life, is just a phase. The good times, the hard times, the ugly outfits, the highschool rumors, the boyfriends, the girlfriends, the best friends, the moods, everything, its just a phase. I am currently in a phase, that I am not enjoying. Working full time, everyday, seeing no one, not even family, waking up, shower, work, shower, sleep, eat, repeat. It gets old, really fast. After talking to my dad, he helped to clarify things for me. This part in my life, is just a stepping stone, to achieve my future goals. Do I love what i'm doing right now? NO. If I don't get through this right now, can I achieve future goals? Probably not. I just have to grin and get through this, and it'll all be okay. For other people, sitting at a computer, staring at their facebook screen, pressing the 'home' button, to refresh a page that hasn't changed in the past 32 seconds.. I feel your pain. Working full time, limits a social life, but i'm okay with that, because in a years time, I won't be sitting anywhere near a laptop screen or a facebook page, because I will be out loving life and following my dream. So this phase will past.. just gotta get past it.

Another phase.. Boyfriends. I recently got out of a relationship that lasted on and off for about a year and a half. That was another phase in my life, one with ups and downs. I can't, and won't bash my ex, because he is genuinely a good guy. Probably one of the sweetest guys I've ever met.. Your probably trying to figure out why we broke up. I guess sometimes people just change and you can't mesh anymore.. Opposites attract, but sometimes they repel after a while. We just have different goals, and second time round, seemed more like a best friend, than a boyfriend. I still love him to death, but it just wasn't meant to be. Lesson learned would be that you can't hang on to something because of what you want it to be. It is what it is, and you've got to live with that. He was a phase in my life that was great, and I will most definitely miss him when I'm gone.

What i'm trying to say, is that everything is a phase, so you might not love what you are doing, but it too shall pass. Just like if you are enjoying something in your life, then truly enjoy it, because you don't know how long it will last, or when it will end. If its not okay, its not then end. 

This Too Shall Pass.

6,529 days

Happy 6,529th day of living to me!! Where has the time gone? At such a young age of 17, i've already lived so many days, done so many things, and met so many people. As my 18th birthday is arriving I've really been thinking about who I am, and what I want to do in my life. How am I going to live every day to the fullest? Currently, I spend my days working, in the past, i've spent my days partying, and in the future I hope to spend my days traveling. I made a bucket list a few years ago, and have already accomplished a handful of the adventures. I don't want to be the type of person that sits in a cubicle everyday, punching numbers, working 9-5 and just getting by with the bills, so that when I turn 60, I can then travel and see the world. No, that is just not me. I am the one, who at 17, is ready to venture out into the big bad world with just a few bucks and a backpack, and explore. When I come home, I can decide what I want to be. I have no interest in growing up, and paying bills. I just want to have fun, and worry about reality and all that good stuff later. Upon graduating highschool I decided that I would definitely not be applying to schools, and that I would be pursuing my dreams of traveling. What helped me get there was an unfortunate situation. From this, I was quickly shown that you never know when everything can end, so follow your dreams now, don't wait.

A little over a year ago, I lost a very close friend of mine to cancer. He was at the young age of 16 at the time. So young. I feel like he didn't have the opportunity to do everything he wanted, or be who he wanted to be. Since he passed, I really took a different turn in my life and from then on, I decided that I would do my best to remind the people i love, that they mean the world.. to thank people for everything they do.. to smile and be positive even when things seem tough.. to give people a second chance, because youll never know when it will be the last time you see that person. From such a tough situation, he made me a better person. People have always said that things happen for a reason, the tough part, is waiting to find out the reason, or never knowing it at all.

From the Broadway musical Rent, the song 525,600 minutes, is a perfect way to think about your life in minutes, or however you want to measure it.

"In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love."

There is Nothing Worse

I've come to realize, for me at least, there is nothing worse than disappointing someone you love. When someone invests time, effort and love and then you just go ahead and disappoint them, its such a bitter feeling. I have been raised with many good values, and I am very close to my parents. One of the things they have taught me, is to never burn bridges. You never know who will be in your future, or when you might need them again. No matter how much you hate your job, your school, your current situation, don't go and burn that bridge. Today, I burned a bridge. At my job, I put in my two weeks, and I had 2 shifts left, one this morning, and my last one tomorrow. At this job, you aren't aloud to have any strange colours in your hair. After putting in my two weeks, and before seeing my next schedule, i put a little bit of purple in my hair. Not my whole head, just a few streaks. But there is no grey areas in the rules at my job, and there is definitely no purple either. I worked a shift a few days ago, and my boss hadn't noticed, or didn't mind.. I was unsure at the time. Today, however, was different. I went in for about an hour of my shift, and then was told to change it or leave. I knew that it was a risk to make.. and unfortunately, didn't work out in my favor. I have met some amazing people from this job, and have truly had some good times. I appreciate the business and what it has done for me, and am hoping that in the future they will look back on my work and what I had done and achieved there, instead of my leaving note. With that being said, I also believe that they will most likely remember the sour grape taste I left in their mouth. I have no one to blame but myself, and it was a long, quiet, upsetting drive home, to say the least. I called the person that I am the closest with, and there came the disappointment. It was bad enough to be disappointed with yourself, but it just made me sick that I had disappointed him too. I know I can't change the past, and there is no point in dwelling on it, but I feel bad, and most definitely have learned from my mistake. For anyone reading this.. take my advice, leave your job on a good note, thank them for what they have done for you, and if you plan on burning that bridge, you better be a damn good swimmer.

Place to Start

Not really sure how to start this... I guess a Hello would do it. Or bonjour, ciao, hola, depending on where you're coming from. I'm not 100% certain as to why I am writing, I guess I would say I like meeting new people, and sharing common thoughts. This will sort of be my public diary to share with the world. Here goes... Ill start by introducing myself.. my name is Carlie Smith and I am a secondary school graduate in Ontario, Canada.  My co-workers and friends would describe me as being very outgoing and bubbly. I am a very hard worker and can set my eyes on a goal, then work as hard as I can to achieve that goal. I decided upon completing my secondary education that prior to applying for college or university that I would prefer to pursue my love of traveling and photography. Last year I spent three months living in Madrid, Spain on a student exchange and it was an amazing life experience. I not only picked up on some of the spanish language, but I learned a lot about myself as well as the culture of Spain. When I was in grade 7, my family moved to Minehead, England because of my fathers career. We lived in Minehead for a year, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I love England and have been itching to get back since the day I left! I currently live just a short 30 minute drive from Niagara Falls, where I spent my summer working. I am now working full time in my town as a sandwhich artist, and saving up to get outta here to pursue my goal of living in europe. My favorite things in the world, are traveling, photography and country music. Put all three together, and thats probably what heaven looks like for me. Im a pretty sarcastic gal, and love being the life of the party. I generally try to be a positive person, but sometimes life just gives you lemon and you don't always have the other ingredients to make a nice lemonade. I guess this sums it up for now. Until next time, sweet dreams. xo